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Not so many things can hurt me that much deep. but some of my own actions let me down. I always love and respect my parents but I think my ego or attitude has impacted me this time. Its not a very uncommon thing when my parent yell at me because of my job. I know I have broken their dreams. I wont go into the detail. But I am sole responsible for the condition in which I am living today. But I am still in the fight to prove myself right and get things on track so that my parent would feel proud of me someday soon.
Yesterday was a usual day, and when I returned back to home, my father was sitting with his laptop and ready to fire at me because of a little mistake-cum-confusion. He yelled at me in his usual way. But dont know what drove me that much crazy that I got ready to move out of the house permanently. I told my sister to find me a bag and then she told it to ma. Then started the family drama. I was stonecold for the whole time. Tears were on the flow(not mine). My father was hearing everything but he acted if he didnt hear anything. So moments later I settled down and was sitting on sofa. Father came from the room and told me what happened. Nobody said anything. Then he yelled at me for leaving the home. AND THATS IT.
Then I again started thinking about all the things and realized that for the whole time. He never told me to leave the home. He knew that I wanted to leave the home but he didnt said anything about that. And while I was arguing with my Ma and sister in the room, he was all silent. It was like that he didnt want to see himself stopping me from leaving the house though he want to do that. My father is a proud man just like any proud person. He has made his status by his own hard work and a MAN character, I never seen him bending on knees in front of someone for anything. And this time also, he couldnt though he wanted to. Next day, he asked my sister if he said anything wrong which urged me to take that action. That means a lot to me. I never saw my father regretting about his actions but today he was on doubt. That make to feel shame on myself. I am not a good person, but I never thought about being a bad son.
We never share feelings...we never open our hearts but only when we are angry.
So papa I am sorry for behaving like an asshole, and I would not repeat that again, And I will look forward to make you feel proud of me. Someday soon.....
Yesterday was a usual day, and when I returned back to home, my father was sitting with his laptop and ready to fire at me because of a little mistake-cum-confusion. He yelled at me in his usual way. But dont know what drove me that much crazy that I got ready to move out of the house permanently. I told my sister to find me a bag and then she told it to ma. Then started the family drama. I was stonecold for the whole time. Tears were on the flow(not mine). My father was hearing everything but he acted if he didnt hear anything. So moments later I settled down and was sitting on sofa. Father came from the room and told me what happened. Nobody said anything. Then he yelled at me for leaving the home. AND THATS IT.
Then I again started thinking about all the things and realized that for the whole time. He never told me to leave the home. He knew that I wanted to leave the home but he didnt said anything about that. And while I was arguing with my Ma and sister in the room, he was all silent. It was like that he didnt want to see himself stopping me from leaving the house though he want to do that. My father is a proud man just like any proud person. He has made his status by his own hard work and a MAN character, I never seen him bending on knees in front of someone for anything. And this time also, he couldnt though he wanted to. Next day, he asked my sister if he said anything wrong which urged me to take that action. That means a lot to me. I never saw my father regretting about his actions but today he was on doubt. That make to feel shame on myself. I am not a good person, but I never thought about being a bad son.
We never share feelings...we never open our hearts but only when we are angry.
So papa I am sorry for behaving like an asshole, and I would not repeat that again, And I will look forward to make you feel proud of me. Someday soon.....
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