Still its her..in my mind...

its been just two weeks since that day when I have did that stupid act and lost her. So many emotions have gone through my mind, sometimes suicidal, sometimes eccentric and sometimes pain. But I am better now and can control myself to greater extent. Doesnt matter how much control I have over myself, some moments when it feels too lone to live without her I feel like crying and punching that wall on my terrace. I feel like standing on the roof top and scream hard to god so that he can listen to me. I dont have many aspirations and even those few aspirations revolve around her. I have lost my sun around which I want to make my universe. And after thinking hard and getting mad for all the nonsense reasons and resolutions I have to face the truth that she doesnt need me..so for what fuck I am thinking about her.

With her, I have lost myself, and it seems I dont want anything now as I never wanted anything but to be happy and she was the only happiness I needed. So its the End..but I am still living as this life is to live..and as I always said, HOPE never dies..