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I don't have many visitors here, but i don't care about that, but in case if there is any regular visitor than he or she might be thinking what kind of rollercoatser is my mind...
Yeah, I think too much, she said and I also feel. Maybe i try to look at the different angles to judge myself and my thoughts. In general cases this"angle analysis" is the responsibility of every person other than you. You just do sometime and hundred minds start working analyzing your act. 100 minds 100 angles, but a single act.
In my case, One mind, 100 acts for a situation and 100 angles for every act.. ..that goes something like this 1x100x100....mathematically, which doesn't have any logic.
Now what happened this time...?
Yesterday suddenly a thought came in my mind....as usuall..about her..
but this time it was in her favor..moreover against myself,,.
How can we impose out feelings and thus the aspirations associated with them on someone's life?
Stupid..yeah I am...no doubt on that..I always said that I love her and she is the last girl with whom I have ever wanted to have a life under one roof..2-3 little beautiful kids..a simple job..a small farm, a small car..a wineyard..and some cows....something like that...Anyway the truth is SHE DOESNT WANT ME IN HER LIFE AS A PARTNER. I know that honestly, and she has told me many times, I accept that but then I ignore that as I impose my feelings on her. I still want to give a try against her wish. It seems I want to mold her life that way I want it to be. Maybe she has some simple dreams or some European luxury in her mind but I dont care about that and want to give her a life the way I want. This is totally a selfish aspect of my feelings for her. I dont remember if I have ever tried to impose my feelings or decision on someone. oh yeah,,I do..Once when I was the monitor of my class during my college days, I imposed a decision on my classmates and got ignorance as backlash, even those people really loved me. whatever...
Doesn't matter if my feelings are true or not..The way I want to go against her wish and try for whatever dreams i have planted in my mind, it speaks I am selfish to think about only my life, my love, my feelings,,bla bla bla bla....
I think I should wait for her first and then start planting the dreams..till then I am working on something related to her..I know how to keep myself attached and indulged with her(thoughts)
Yeah, I think too much, she said and I also feel. Maybe i try to look at the different angles to judge myself and my thoughts. In general cases this"angle analysis" is the responsibility of every person other than you. You just do sometime and hundred minds start working analyzing your act. 100 minds 100 angles, but a single act.
In my case, One mind, 100 acts for a situation and 100 angles for every act.. ..that goes something like this 1x100x100....mathematically, which doesn't have any logic.
Now what happened this time...?
Yesterday suddenly a thought came in my mind....as usuall..about her..
but this time it was in her favor..moreover against myself,,.
How can we impose out feelings and thus the aspirations associated with them on someone's life?
Stupid..yeah I am...no doubt on that..I always said that I love her and she is the last girl with whom I have ever wanted to have a life under one roof..2-3 little beautiful kids..a simple job..a small farm, a small car..a wineyard..and some cows....something like that...Anyway the truth is SHE DOESNT WANT ME IN HER LIFE AS A PARTNER. I know that honestly, and she has told me many times, I accept that but then I ignore that as I impose my feelings on her. I still want to give a try against her wish. It seems I want to mold her life that way I want it to be. Maybe she has some simple dreams or some European luxury in her mind but I dont care about that and want to give her a life the way I want. This is totally a selfish aspect of my feelings for her. I dont remember if I have ever tried to impose my feelings or decision on someone. oh yeah,,I do..Once when I was the monitor of my class during my college days, I imposed a decision on my classmates and got ignorance as backlash, even those people really loved me. whatever...
Doesn't matter if my feelings are true or not..The way I want to go against her wish and try for whatever dreams i have planted in my mind, it speaks I am selfish to think about only my life, my love, my feelings,,bla bla bla bla....
I think I should wait for her first and then start planting the dreams..till then I am working on something related to her..I know how to keep myself attached and indulged with her(thoughts)
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