i need help about the title.......

So what have i been doing till now,
roaming in streets, smoking & killing time anyhow.

The most usual notion of everyone who confronts me,
making mockery of my attempts and dreams.

I cant imagine how can they sleep with fake sleep,
limiting their own dreams to just inside sleep.

Only the pals look at the better half of bad time,
offering me a hand to come out of my gold mine.

I will dig this pit till it really becomes a mine,
the time is bad, can be worse and could also be fine.


Questions are always ready to slap my face,
am i suitable, eligible or a just a waste.


How funny is it that i boast of doing impossible,
& i just cant satisfy those curious & criticals.

Not a single statement cant to the justice,
to those who only wait for a failure.

In a bigger picture i see world cheering the achiever,
thats normal but forget, once they started off as a dreamer.

From my perspective, i am not different than achievers,
only thing which separates us is nothing but success.

This funny world is ready to kiss their socks,
and there is only ignorance for even my soft cheeks.

I never wanted to see people praising my own sky,
but i just want to see myself living my own desires.

Crowd even dont respect our sincere efforts,
not perfectly but at least we dared to scratch the path.

Thats always, how the world reacts to you & me,
so why am i told to care about its view,

Why should i stop to pursue my own desires,
those which i designed in my magical sleeps.

Why am i told to limits dream upto just a dream,
for me its not just an entertainment during sleep.

i often laugh on their silly reasons to kill aspirations,
and its strange how one can escape those temptations.


Nothing i care about and want except my pals,
those who only gives support & faithfull opinion.

So, to sleep perfectly on last day of life,
just leave me alone & let me enjoy my time.

BEAUTIFUL LOSS

And again I ended up at a different node,

so usual to get deviated from the initial mood.

It has become so normal to me and my pen,

& there is someone else who is real culprit.

Mind initiate & control thoughts till a give up,

give up to the feelings boiling in my heart.

Days ago I started to draw a bouquet on board,

everything was certain till I started working on rose.

Minutes later I found two eyes between leaves,

and even leaves resembles to someones lips.

Its strange but those were not stranger,

belonged to a story of  a beautiful summer.

So many great beginnings I have ruined,

and mastered to change a wedding into a funeral.

Everything I do, reflects the summary of my life,

started great, goes bad in between, end up in hope.

Thousand time I said, I was never such,

till I burnt myself in grief and remorse.

& that drama runs in my mind for every second,

thinking about giving it a desired climax.

How easy the things would go if we can control,

but how can we neglect the first opinion of  second one.

Thanks to almighty, I don’t have any fan to commit,

burdened to produce a well garnished salad of words.

I would have been facing mockery, lawsuit and criticism,

thanks I never dared to present my salad to any publisher.

I don’t think I can ever overcome this,

It is embedded within me, more than a habit.

I never understand why most cant make it with art,

now I have the subject to study & research.

In my case, there is a loss of concentration,

lost the commitment to study “other” beauty & subjects. 

What makes me to stick on those lips and eyes,

which comes out from stones, flowers and even from ice. 

Any cure, I don’t know and even don’t want any advice

as far as I can see nature and life through those eyes.

DARLING IN A BOTTLE

It took me some busy weeks to weave this one,

Its not about any girl or some imperfection.

This time i try to thank that heavenly fluid,

Helped me whenever i was filled with dead spirit.

Doesn’t matter what’s the mood, low, high or medium,

It was always there, just like a true friend.

Thanks to that ambassador who introduced us ,

Since that day we have became pals forever.

Let me try to recollect those memories,

The flashes are fresh, colorful, though in pieces,

It started on some day, one of the boring ones,

Pals had something like " ginnie in the bottle",

For us it was an experiment with truth,

Heard that people fly while still at ground.

The most disturbing blend i had ever tasted,

Intestine tried to abuse but i won over it,

Then everything changed such, that i cant complain,

Water was never been such electrictrifying and colorful.

Then came the sea of suppressed feelings from eyes,

And i saw a king in everyone, a king like brother.

Spinned, laughed, shocked and cried within next moments,

And never saw the world such beautiful and transparent.

Shelling out every pain and guilt of whole life,

Felt like a new born man in a sea of clear waters.

Like others its a ginnie for me, but only for first,

Now its a darling, lives in a bottle and never irritates.

Those drunk eyes could see the world so clearly,

And a dead world soon turned out to be lively.

Even after closing the eyes i was in rhythm,

It colored us, our dreams and some after hours,

Then sunlight never looked such ugly,

Lightning the day & reflecting the reality.

Life never gives chance to be happy at will,

Who cares now about it, i got my own darling.

Doesnt matter how often my character changes,

Its beauty remains intact and so our relation.

I take it out, kiss & share my sorrows and wisdom,

Never kissed a woman, might be sweetest but not faithful.

Some would say i run from reality, who cares,

At least i try to be real from my own senses.

I never read or tasted any holy shit,

That day i felt some god feeling from within.

I have a family, mentor and freinds enough,

Love u all, "darling" u r not the special one,

Its normal to see faces changing overnight,

Its u,the only thing which gets better with time.

I thank people and their effort to bring me up,

This time, its me and a bottle, and hats off!

JUST TO SAY THIS.....

everyday i try hard to change something,
to change the way we talk and the way u feel,
and to make u see more than friendship.

evrynight i sleep with regret and promises,
the promise to try again all my tricks,
but i always end up being a HYSTERIC.

history repeats itself and so i do,
no matter how hard i try to avoid you,
and i cant as whatever i feel is true.

when i gaze into ur eyes i forget my joy,
as i know that they cant be mine anyhow,
and it brings the seas of sorrow as i cry.

is it necessary to achieve what u dream of?
about it sometimes i say yes, sometimes no,
when i think of u, keep it alive is what i hope.

i dream of everything like others do,
it seems evrything is achievable as i look,
but its of no meaning without you.

in straight words i just tried to say this
nothing matters to me but ur freindship
so never leave me and try to tolerate my HYSTERICS

THE SEASON OF LIFETIME

the summer has gone months ago,
but its warmth is still alive,
i dont feel cold shivers anymore.

i didnt sleep that summer for whole season,
and enjoyed it so hard to get sunburns,
i knew winter was just behind for some reason.

its not about hot or cold neither about rain,
the colors what a relation changes during time,
the joy of summer, and winters tell all pain.


for every next one i got a new reason,
suffering are same but never so soothing,
this time i know next winter will never come.

it started with a search in barren cold,
knocking at random door for some relief,
someone seems busy and someone scolds.

after long days of search i see a ray,
ray from the eternal sunshine of spotless mind,  
and here comes the day for which i usually pray.

melting the layer of frozen emotions,
it passes through the heart killing that pain,
and again striking the cords of passion.

thats how everytime i change the course,
enjoying the present and respecting the suffering,
till i see the dawn and fog behind it.

but this time its different than past,
the longest summer i have ever seen,
and its the first winter i have ever enjoyed.


TO BE EDITED......

WITH U....

with u....

FOR THE LAST DAYS I  HAVENT SEEN ....UR.... FACE,

THE REASONS ARE NOT CLEAR, I FEEL THEY DON’T EXIST.

FOT THE TIMES, I GO IMPATIENCE AND CRAZY ABOUT U,

AND IT SAYS THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY ....HEART.. ..FOR.. ..U.....

NEVER CONFUSE ATTRACTION WITH THE LOVE,

BUT I DO, SO I M CAREFULLY STEPPING TOWARDS YOU.

I AGREE, WE JUST HAVE BEEN WALKING FOR A MINUTE,

SO WHAT, IF I FEEL THIS LOVE AS EXISTED FOR YEARS.

SO FAST, I M WALKING WITH THIS RELATION, WITH THIS FLOW,

THE REASON, MAY BE, I DON’T WANT TO DIE SLOW.

I CANT ASSUME  WHAT ....UR.... LEFT SIDE FEELS ABOUT ME,

JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO BE WITH U AND TO FEEL FROM WITHIN.

I CANT PREDICT WHAT THE LIFE WOULD BE AFTERWARDS,

BUT THERE IS SOMETHING WHICH TENDS ME TO MOVE FURTHER.

EVEN I CANT EXPLAIN HOW THESE FEELINGS GROW,

BUT I DON’T REGRET MY MISTAKES, U KNOW,

I CANT BLAME U FOR MAKING ME FEELLLNG LIKE THIS,

SO WHO’S THAT THIRD PARTY WHO STRIKES ME FROM WITHIN.

NOW ITS UR DECISION TO HOLD ME OR LEAVE DOWN,

 FOR ME U WILL ALWAYS REMAIN THE BEST BEAUTIFUL PERSON I KNOW.

LIFE  WON’T STOP WITH THIS DECISION, IT WILL FLOW,

AND SO I HAVE TO AND WANT TO GO WITH THIS FLOW.

NOT TO MENTION, WE WILL MEET TOMORROW SOMEDAY,

AND I WILL  STILL  LOVE YOU  AS MUCH AS TODAY.