BEAUTIFUL LOSS

And again I ended up at a different node,

so usual to get deviated from the initial mood.

It has become so normal to me and my pen,

& there is someone else who is real culprit.

Mind initiate & control thoughts till a give up,

give up to the feelings boiling in my heart.

Days ago I started to draw a bouquet on board,

everything was certain till I started working on rose.

Minutes later I found two eyes between leaves,

and even leaves resembles to someones lips.

Its strange but those were not stranger,

belonged to a story of  a beautiful summer.

So many great beginnings I have ruined,

and mastered to change a wedding into a funeral.

Everything I do, reflects the summary of my life,

started great, goes bad in between, end up in hope.

Thousand time I said, I was never such,

till I burnt myself in grief and remorse.

& that drama runs in my mind for every second,

thinking about giving it a desired climax.

How easy the things would go if we can control,

but how can we neglect the first opinion of  second one.

Thanks to almighty, I don’t have any fan to commit,

burdened to produce a well garnished salad of words.

I would have been facing mockery, lawsuit and criticism,

thanks I never dared to present my salad to any publisher.

I don’t think I can ever overcome this,

It is embedded within me, more than a habit.

I never understand why most cant make it with art,

now I have the subject to study & research.

In my case, there is a loss of concentration,

lost the commitment to study “other” beauty & subjects. 

What makes me to stick on those lips and eyes,

which comes out from stones, flowers and even from ice. 

Any cure, I don’t know and even don’t want any advice

as far as I can see nature and life through those eyes.