Dont want this dream to be true...

IT has been a while since I created mess here last time. Now what takes me today here at this unmanaged poor kingdom of mine?

I barely have good sleep nowadays. And I don’t remember when I wake up with a smile and hope on my face.  I sleep too much but haven’t taken any quality sleep since a long time. Maybe good dreams are made during the imaginative peace of night. And since I have become an owl so its rare to see any night sleep except on weekends when I am in the arms of rum or some vodka….

Now today, I woke up and felt bit sad but lucky!

I have a strange illusion while sleeping. I felt as if my whole life has been summarized in one whole movie of about 15 minutes(I can’t say anything about the duration of that illusion). I saw myself in the worst phase and it appears that it is the conclusion of my life. A person indulge with many things in whole life and many relations, greets many people and turned off by some of them, turned on by some of them and let alone by most of them, so as a whole every person has some effect on our life whom we ever met in our life.

So I was surrounded with most of the people who has influenced my life, my father, my teacher, friends and many people I can’t recall all of the faces now. So I was in a place which looks like the one in which I always wanted to live. Having the fields of my own village and old friends from there.  I don’t know what was that thing which made me to scream at my father and some other people. I was screaming like if it’s the end of my life, like if they have snatched my most loved things from me. I was walking towards those people, screaming, throwing away everything I had in pockets, money, my belts, my shirt. It was like if I wanted to express my grief to the world who has taken away something valuable from me. And walking to the fields where my friends were doing the farming in the fields. It is my love so I tried to give them a hand and asked if they have heard any scream from the valley, no, they said. So I remain silent while thinking about that thing in my mind.

Now I return to the valley and everybody was sleeping in a room while I was lying and thinking about the mess I have created. I could feel the feeling I had at that moment. I was like a person who has lost everything and don’t care about next as he has nothing left to lose. So I was lying on the bed and a friend was trying to talk to me. Asking me now what I am gonna do. He was the younger brother of my teacher who has contributed a lot in my life both in negative and positive manner. So I had a big cellular phone in my hand and thinking about whom to call…and thinking about something which I can’t recall…

It was a dark night. I couldn’t see any light coming from the outside. It was bit cold like the sweet cold in the early morning of falling winter. And then I heard the sound of a vehicle stopped by our door. And don’t know how I knew that they were from some mental hospital who just came to take me away. At that moment I felt that life I finished, though it already appeared to me. A woman knocked on the door and my friend asked her what she wants. She said that, sorry i forgot what she said. And I told her that don’t worry I know that she was here to take me to some mental hospital. I didn’t panic but I knew that I cant stop it and nor I cared about that. I was free flow.

 I went outside. The vehicle was standing there. And there were the guards with chains in their hands. I smile and told them to take it easy. I had some grief within me so before moving in I screamed and cried jus to take every emotion out of myself. And then I sit in the front and asked for a cigarette from that girl. She said that why they are sending me to that place as I seemed ok. I just told her that maybe this world has enough of me. And I woke up.