just few hours more..then i would be gone...

hysterics....goes practical.....and need a change(Radical)

and..goes has finally listened to me...this time its like magic..and for the last time i m sharing something to outer world..and after this post i will shut down this blog...

as i told..and the regular visitors know that i again did something which turned her off..now what?

yes..after trying hard...i decided to give it a try one more time...and night before doing that, i prayed hard to god, saying..give me last chance..and i wont ask for a another as i w ont do anything which can again take me back to grave. and as a miracle, next day..something persuaded me, off course i am obsessed with her, and i aproached her again..and she replied..and i opened up myself..evry emotional experiecen i went through since these past weeks..and i want to change for a better..maybe perfect but before that i would try for better...so she wascold in her replies as i feel that she was busy and obviously its not easy for anyone to start over any broken realtion from anywhere..but it was enough for me..i thougth i got my life back..and so i dont want to do anything stupid..so i m looking for a change...a positive change which can bring her to me..in my life forever..and this time i want to give meaning to this word forever..

i want to and i have to restructure my ruptured life..which could be better i nevery terms..i have the resources which i can utilise and then climb to the stirs which can take me to hr..and bring a satisfactions in my family who has been living a stressed life just because of me...its time to commit..to make a commitment to myself ///

its not possible for me to disclose the deatils..but i have start working on it..seems like a fairy tale to me..but i have not other option to make it...its final..it will be "US"...after one year...

please wish that i stay at hard work..and bring back smiles on the faces whom i have stressed a lot..

Hysteric on the Tour,,,,soon

I have always thought of going on a world tour, but at this age and so much busy schedule its not possible, also since i m single and want to make it a honeymoon on world tour so that dream will take time..whatever...i am gonna on a tour to her city..this December...why so..and how so????

I dont know why if this is a rule that, when u start loving a person then you start loving everything attached to it...her hairstyle,,her country..language, tradition..songs..recipe.. everything and everything whatever touches her life..

so just going with that feeling i m gonna visit her town..not her(this time)...i have been engaged gathering the information regarding the visa..and how much money do it need to have for all the expense..my business is blooming slowly..and i know..i will make it..to touch that land where she walks...to touch that water which she tastes..to breathe that air which she breathes...and that would surely take me much near to her...

Time to go out of imagination..and feel it in real....Thanks GOD!

I am happy...and positive...

Its funny..how the emotions changes us..some hours ago I went to sleep for 4 hours in afternoon just to get rid of the fever of "HER". Thats unavoidable but can have ways to prevent it or divert that thing as such I am really not in mood of making nay compromise on her. Now what really happened. I would like to share this small experiment I have done. Its not magic, can say science but most people wont believe it.

i watched this documentary called "the Secret". i was searching for some movies which have some meaning. So randomly i went to one web page where there was a list of movies who are seems to be "meaningfull" and most of them were already seen by me and that gave me a feeling of being an intellectual)))). Now there I find "The Secret", i read the summary and by that it doesn't seems like a documentary kind of thing. so i just downloaded it ..and when i start watching it i was shocked and surpsied. two things at a time..i try to do that always.


Now what ths shock and what the surprise?

Shock was that it was about the concept of positive thinking and magnetic files which controls the way our life go. I have already studied lot about that but initially i thought that it was the literature produced but some freak trying to justify his freakiness. This theory states that every thing going around us is a result of the way we think. both positive nad negative and it says that the more you concentrate about something the more are the chances that it will happen the way you want. wowowow...now some month sago i tried this on my neighbors. she was a hotty..so that book was about seducing through the mind control. So i used to do think about her and the nasty thoughts just to seduce her. But i didn't get any result because i was really not interested on her and i didn't practice that for long...anyway..this movie is different from that book..and have may intellectuals professing about the power of positive thinking...and that makes me happy...you all can guess why...I GOT THE KEY!

last night i made a statement on twitter that" I have a strong belief someday god would come to me saying" hell, you frustrate me a lot, you are a pain in the ass..tell me what do you want..."

I was really serious making that tweet...and so it seems positive thinking has start working....maybe this will change my life..and the way i look at life...Hope you all get the point..if not, then go and watch that movie.."The Secret"..


ALL THE BEST...

Still its her..in my mind...

its been just two weeks since that day when I have did that stupid act and lost her. So many emotions have gone through my mind, sometimes suicidal, sometimes eccentric and sometimes pain. But I am better now and can control myself to greater extent. Doesnt matter how much control I have over myself, some moments when it feels too lone to live without her I feel like crying and punching that wall on my terrace. I feel like standing on the roof top and scream hard to god so that he can listen to me. I dont have many aspirations and even those few aspirations revolve around her. I have lost my sun around which I want to make my universe. And after thinking hard and getting mad for all the nonsense reasons and resolutions I have to face the truth that she doesnt need me..so for what fuck I am thinking about her.

With her, I have lost myself, and it seems I dont want anything now as I never wanted anything but to be happy and she was the only happiness I needed. So its the End..but I am still living as this life is to live..and as I always said, HOPE never dies..

Just one among the crowd

I always complain about certain things in society which are just unacceptable to me. Not just me but to every common man and I used to separate myself from that crowd of a common man by trying to get involved in the things at least if they occur in front of my eyes. Never ever i done that..just thought.

Today just one hour back I was on the way to somewhere when I saw the van of the police. Though these assholes can be seen anywhere roaming around the wine shop and parks. Well, if it is in a residential area then its really a big deal and so it was a matter of curiosity as that area was also residential. People love doing this, giving their ears at least to the incident tha happens around these uniformed dogs. But here many got a relief from their work just for witnessing the things which must be a shame on any society, The policeman was holding the hand of a kid maybe around 9-10 years old. He was dark but the tears and fear has changed that color to bit red. He might have tried to steal from those apartment, maybe bicycle or clothes.

But that boy was caught and handed over to police. And the police might call up the parents else will held him inside the locker for few days as it was a registered case. Was that the best solution for the case and that kid?
everybody feel no. me too..but what we have done for that no..nothing?..yeah right..nothing..

so I again got the feeling that I am no more the person I used to be, less i used to try earlier, But there i was just among those head and ears who just wanted to be updated about the incident so that they can share that with 100 other ears.

That kid is just one of the millions kid who dont have access to schools or basic facilities which deprive them of their childhood and for the survival they are left with no choice but steal as thats the most easy way and they dont know the value of hard work. But how can we blame them for having kn sense about such moral if they dont have access to schools and education..no way..they will pass their childhood collecting the empty wine bottles and stealing.

Gotta stop it..I know how..but i m dead to act..

I'AM SO LOST WITHOUT YOU....

Dedicated to her...iHOPE SHE FORGIVE ME...AGAIN!